But What If I Fail?

I hear this question all the time in my work as a speaker and coach, and it is a very legitimate fear. But I think it is the wrong question! Let me explain...                          

I made my debut as part of the BBC athletics commentary team 2 weekends ago for the European Championships. It was fun, and it was challenging, and the feedback was good. 

I also made it into Private Eye Magazine’s Commentatorballs – the section where they celebrate the best gaffes of the week by sports commentators.

I earned the honour with this gem: “She typically saves her final jump ‘til last”!  I was commentating on Jaz Sawyers in the women’s long jump and I probably meant to say that Jaz typically saves her biggest jump until last, but clearly I was a little excited and got my words mixed up!

When I first read it, my heart sank. I was embarrassed, my face flushed, and I was convinced my career as a commentator was over. And possibly my entire life.

But I didn’t panic – I’m know myself well enough to know that I feel things hard and I feel things fast and I can be a little over dramatic. I know my initial reaction to something can be out of touch with reality.

So I took a deep breath, and I sat with the uncomfortable feelings of failure, and I realized two things. The first, being that they spelled my name right. Which is kind of a big deal when your name has an unusual spelling - at least they know who I am!  The second being that when I looked at the names of the other commentators on the list- Gary Neville, John Rawlings, Neil McCann, Dion Dublin - I realized I was in excellent company.

The question “But what if I fail” is the wrong question because it’s never a question of “if” you will mess up – it’s a question of “when”. And we don't have to live in fear of it. We all get things wrong, and when you do, you will be in excellent company.

Getting things wrong is how we learn. If you run your life as an experiment, mistakes are not a problem. If you run your life as a series of pass or fail tests with your self worth on the line every time, then mistakes will be stressful and devastating.

Mistakes will happen. I work hard and do my best to keep them to a minimum or at least keep them small and fixable. But they are impossible to avoid if growth is what you’re after!